Why You Need To Stop Worrying About Outside Expectations

I was watching Gilmore Girls the other day… surprise surprise I know haha. Actually after a year of watching like 4 episodes a week, I have FINALLY completed the original 9 seasons. Woot Woot! Major accomplishment for this mama in the books! Anyways… I was watching Gilmore Girls, and Rory (the accomplished, straight – A Yale Grad , who was used to doing everything right her whole life ) couldn’t find the prestigious job she was hoping for after graduation. She wasn’t quite living up to what she thought everyone expected of her.

Sure, Rory had high expectations for herself, but she also believed her peers had just as high expectations for her. They would be DISAPPOINTED, she thought, if she didn’t excel in all aspects of her life. Thinking about everyone’s expectations coupled with her recent failures caused her to start hyperventilating about her future. She felt like a total and complete failure even though she was doing her best. Deep down, she felt a lot of extra pressure from outsider’s expectations.

If you are like Rory… and sometimes even myself, you put a heavy load on yourself every day to excel in certain aspects of your life because YOU BELIEVE everyone else will consider you a failure if you don’t. Take me for example, I am a happiness blogger. I do my very best to help people find their unique talents and passions and develop them with positive thinking, confidence building, and self worth recognition with the purpose of creating their happiest life possible. I am a generally very happy person. I love my life and feel I do well at following the principles I teach (which is why I am so passionate about teaching them- I see results in my own life!!!)

However, like a normal person I have down days. It’s just a part of human nature. I have days where I feel like a total failure, days where I can’t keep up, and days where I don’t feel like I am measuring up to my own or OTHERS’ expectations. When I have days like this, it’s easy for me to think, “I can’t be sad. I am a happiness blogger. People expect me to always be happy”. Then, I start feeling guilty for allowing myself to feel sad which makes me more sad.  Haha that’s not good. Then it can turn into a downward spiral from there. (Luckily I usually get out of it by changing my mindset… that’s the benefit of working on these things!!)

But guess what?! It’s ok for me to be sad sometimes. It’s ok for a person to experience NORMAL HUMAN EMOTIONS! It’s ok for me to experience failures in life and then feel upset about them because that’s what helps me become a better person. That’s what helps me grow. As long as I eventually get over it and get back up again, it’s all good.

And it’s ok for you too.

You don’t have to be perfect all the time. Just because you are used to being “the funny one” doesn’t mean you have to try to be hilarious in every interaction you have with other humans. People will still love you. Or just because you are often known as “the pretty one” doesn’t mean you can never leave the house without makeup and the perfect “on fleek” outfit. Haha it feels weird using that phrase… anyways. People will still love you. Or just because you are known as “the smart one” doesn’t mean you always have to be on top of all the incoming news and discoveries and what not. Or just because you are “the successful one” doesn’t mean you can never lose any money or get something wrong. It happens and it’s ok! Seriously, whether you want to believe it or not, people will still love you.

The question is – Can you still love yourself?

              I sincerely hope the answer is yes. Please don’t allow a small failure or off day ruin your confidence. Learn to be brilliantly an authentically YOU. Learn what your passions and talents are. What makes you tick? What keeps you up at night because you seriously can not stop thinking about it? What is your favorite way to help other people? What fills your heart and makes you feel whole? Find out who you are and RUN WITH IT.

              When you have down days, times when you feel like giving up, times when you feel off your game, like your letting yourself and/or others down, or times when you feel like a total failure, take the time to remember what makes you YOU. Remember what it is about yourself that impacts the world in a special way, no matter how big or small that special something may be. And always remember that no matter what anyone else thinks of you, you are amazing.

              So, get up from your failures. Stop worrying about the potential expectations of other people as well as the harsh expectations from yourself. Just do your best each day . Go one step at a time. Set realistic goals and achieve them one day at a time. And most of all, be happy! Feel good about yourself. Think positively about your life and know that every thing will be ok in the end. You can create an amazing life for yourself and it all starts with loving you for being you – failures, messy hair days, lack of energy days, getting nothing done days, losing money days, failing test days, accidentally offended someone days, spilled food all over yourself days, etc, etc, etc

              See you next post!

-          Holly B.